Dodo Eggs

Public Notice: Matt & Melissa Teply of Loss Vegas, Nevada are listed as defendants in a defamation suit by a Mr. Easter Bunny.  The litigation stems from an incident on April 4th, 2010 in which the defendants allegedly defamed Mr. Bunny’s likeness in a reckless effort to celebrate Easter.  Mr. Bunny asserts that the Teply’s “effigy in cake” so depreciated his image that he may be forced to relinquish Easter and become the Flag Day Bunny.

Speaking on behalf of his client, the lawyer for Mr. Bunny said, “The pictures speak for themselves.  After many, many years of constructing a wholesome brand, the Teply’s so-called Easter cake portrays my client in too disparaging a light.  The first cake is hardly distinguishable!  It’s just a mangled mound of yellow cake and misplaced icing!  As for the other cake, did you see the way Mr. Teply put on the small purple jelly beans?  They make my client look retarded!

“If Mr. Bunny loses his position as the ambassador of Easter, we can only assume his Australian rival, Mr. Easter Kangaroo, will try to take Mr. Bunny’s position.  We are tired of hearing how Mr. Kangaroo can carry Easter eggs in his pouch.  If this happens, it will most assuredly be partially attributed to Mr. Teply’s actions this season.”

Exhibit A: Notice the child’s delirium

Addressing the media yesterday, Mr. Teply strongly denies he tried to make the Easter Bunny look retarded.  “Look, my grandmother used to make these bunny cakes for us when we were young.  I thought it would be easy to do!  Take a circular cake, cut it in half, and stick the halves together.  Then you cover the thing in icing and sprinkle with coconut to give it a furry feel.  Accessorize with two ears cut out of cardboard before adding jelly beans and marshmallows.  It sounded easy!”

Mr. Teply fought tears before continuing,  “I, I guess I wanted…a tradition for my own son.  I didn’t want to make the Easter Bunny look retarded…I swear!” Despite repeated public apologizes, it appears Mr. Teply is unable to wipe the Cadbury Egg off his face.  The law suit seeks damages in the hundreds of thousand of jellybeans

Children’s advocacy groups have also waded into the fight.  Mark Cocobutter of SHAC (Safe Holidays Activist’s Commission) saw the photo evidence and released a twelve page statement in which he stated, “Look at the ridiculous delirium on the child’s face.  This child obviously has no idea what an Easter Bunny is supposed to look like and these “cakes” certainly won’t help.  We are saddened that people like Mr. Teply are given the ability to have children.”

Despite the hyperbole and excessive verbiage, it is unlikely the case will be brought to trial anytime soon.  Comparatively, the lawsuit Mr. Kris Kringle brought against the people who spawned Kwanzaa is still caught in the gears of litigation.  Additionally, it should be noted that Mr. Kringle’s case against Kwanzaa is much stronger than the comparatively minor action Mr. Teply took.

The Unhappy Easter Bunny or Unhappy Easter Muskrat?

• Need Bathroom Reading?
• Good Egg or Bad Egg?
• Fun Impaired
• Feminine Fortunes
• Coco Intolerance