Earning an F
“Are you gifted?”…”No, I’m Steve.”
A young man shoves his small pile of school supplies from the tabletop into the mouth of his open backpack. He’s excited because this is going to be the year he makes his mother proud. This is going to be the year he makes the honor roll and takes his place among the smart kids. He wants to meet his new teachers. There’s also a chance he could be seated next to Leah Schumaker!
His mother is in the car and she’s already started the engine. She’s late for work again and if he doesn’t hurry, she’ll chew him out. Then she’ll drop him off a block from school which means a mad dash through school morning traffic – good thing his backpack has reflective strips!
“Now remember,” she’ll tell him. “Mommy needs her money for her medications so you’d better write on everything you have whose it is. I’m not kidding. If I have to buy you pencils instead of Prozac I’m likely to stab you with them. And remember – mommy spent time in the slammer so I know how to make a good shank.”
The young man makes it to his classroom and while the teacher begins her speech (“No gum, no talking, no cheating, no bad hygiene, no notes, no foreign languages, no clothing from the 1970s) the student takes out a pen. With keen intensity he begins following his mother’s instructions to mark each item he owns.
Carefully, he etches “M-I-N-E” into the side of all sixty pencils.
Being Professional
Three years ago I had a student in my last period math class who in no particular order…
1) Never came to class with a pencil or paper. Nothing! What was he doing during the five minutes it takes him to cross the hall from Science to Math? He wouldn’t even bother to ask to borrow from the kids around him.
2) Speaking of five minutes – sometimes it wasn’t enough! I’d begin class and the door behind me would open interrupting my class.
3) He honestly lacked any detectable math skills. He didn’t even know his multiplication tables!
4) This student made no effort to learn. He wouldn’t listen to the lesson or instructions. Once the assignment was made, he would not know how or what to do. Then he would proceed to huff and puff until I arrived to repeat them specifically for him! (And then he still didn’t know how!)
5) This boy would not shut up. He disturbed others around him with his constant yapping. Write-offs and detention did little to inhibit him…instead he would pout because I was picking on him.
One of the other teachers was writing up a discipline referral on him. She approached me about anything I could contribute.
“Yes,” I began. “Write on there that Douglas is a complete educational negative.”
Later that day, the principal shows up at my door, “What’s this? You can’t write this. Everything has to stay professional. Just the facts.”
Ok, so I wrote out the five items listed above then I looked at my principal and quietly said, “Are you sure you didn’t want the condensed version?”
October 19th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Oh man, I am so glad I am not a teacher. Oh wait, I enter data into a computer for a living… what am I saying?!?