Dodo-Love
Love is a magnificent concept. It’s a shame there’s no Book of Love that spells out all you need to know. It’s also a shame there isn’t a Love Potion that seals the deal. That is until DodoEggs.com, your authoritative source for everything, cracked open the problem.
When the world class power of our custodial staff teamed up with corporate vice monitoring, both problems were quickly rendered mute. A book, soon to be released by anyone we can sucker into publishing it, details all of love’s delicate gears. We also have a tonic (not sure whether it’s the drinkable kind) that will bridge love’s pitfalls.
Here are a few excerpts from Dodo Bird’s Book of Love’s first few chapters…call it foreplay.
On loving you mate – “When you look at your spouse, you’re looking at a part of you. So treat her as you would treat yourself. Feed her plenty of donuts and have her watch lots of football.”
On argument resolution – “The very moment one of you says, ‘I’m going to my Mom’s!’ The argument is over.
On love fighting fair- “Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, and more likely to grow weed in their basement.”
On argument resolution- “The wise and loving thing to do is to start approaching your disagreements with a willingness to not always insist on your own way. Giving strong consideration to their preference is a good way of valuing them. Then just do what you want to or live with disappointment.”
On love fighting fair- “Before a disagreement, make sure you: listen first before speaking, deal with your own issues first, speak gently, and be polite when you ask for the last (years married) back.”
On and exciting relationship- “Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won’t have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, invite an in-law to move in with you.”
On love fighting fair- “Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, unless they violate the prenuptial agreement.”
Of course, at DodoEggs.com we cannot reveal the entire secret recipe for Love Tonic but here are the first two in no particular order…
6 cups of Stetson Cologne for Men (undiluted)
1 gallon of chocolate syrup.
You could stop right there and have your choice of mates! Thank you DodoEggs.com!!
October 14th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Stetson for men… yikes.