Depression’s Big Day
Depression’s evil powers of persuasion have found a roost. It’s a day on the calendar that is breathed into existence by the long sighs of the public. All the cheerful platitudes you can conjure will not help you. It is a simple, white square that sits on the left side of calendars, waiting passively for its inevitable chance to drag you down. Like the E on your gas tank, it is a certainty.
The last Monday in January (shiver) has a list of depressive powers that surprise. Consider…
1) Football season is over (or almost over) and your team really stunk.
2) Your New Year’s resolution (I will read more DodoEggs) is already in the tank.
3) Inside your mailbox is an envelope with your credit card bill and you made Santa’s “Stupid” list.
4) The shortest day of the year is here. “Why does 4pm look like 4am?”
5) Old Man Winter is sitting squarely on your head.
6) I told you it was Monday, right?
7) TV is airing reruns and, wait, no one’s watching anymore. Never mind.
That’s a pretty overbearing list! Don’t worry though; at DodoEggs.com we know better than anyone else that misery loves company. Here are a few days that will make you WISH for the last Monday in January.
February 15th – Valentine’s Day is over and you didn’t get any. Chocolate that is.
October 21st – Shoot, it’s the anniversary of your great-grandma Ruthie’s death. You probably didn’t even remember did you?
May 12th – Let’s stop and run the numbers on the National Noose, I mean, er, Debt. What was my share again?
March 2nd – Remember this date? It’s when you were expecting to be fluent in Butswipean but instead the CDs and books are still sitting under your bed.
Month of September – It’s Ugliness Awareness Month and you’re about to receive your handwritten invitation to lead the “UGLY AND PROUD” parade through downtown Ekalaka, Montana.
June 31st - This would have been a great day! …now we’ll never know.
July 5th – Stop and think about what you spent on fireworks.
Flag Day – How are you supposed to enjoy Flag Day without a good sturdy flag pole?! Dang! You’ve blown another year!
Really, any day is a good day for depressive thoughts. In fact, let’s take a time out, breathe, relax, and remember that you aren’t getting any younger. Heck, come to think about it, in four hundred years who will even know your name? The guy who mows your cemetery ploy quit reading the stones a long time ago.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:23 am
“Old Man Winter is sitting squarely on your head.” Uh… yep.. but that depression starts in October and lasts till May.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:23 am
By the way, how did it feel to watch the Viking beat the Packers?! You did get to see it right?!