Inside the Brain
Special Investigative Report By Eugene written exclusively for DodoEggs.com!
They say that human adults use only ten percent of their brain. So what’s the other ninety percent doing? Using all the investigative clout at DodoEggs.com, I bought a brain off the internet. (IGOR.COM has slightly damaged to barely used brains on sale everyday! Most sell below IQ!) When it arrived, I was afraid to open it and so was everyone at our Manhattan headquarters. We wound up just painting the box black and leaving on a bench in Central Park.
Desperate for leads, I called my cousin who is the accountant for one of New Jersey’s most renown brain-o-colologists. He promptly responded with a one page, hand written, list of valuable data.
10% – Everyday activities: sleeping, eating, organizing, prioritizing, blah, blah, blah
Now here’s the shocking continuation…
3% – Commercial Jingles 2% – State Capitals
5% – Rationalizing Poor Choices 4% – ½ the chorus to about 6,000 songs
4% – Dirt about Friends 4% – Complaints about Family
1% – Tying Your Shoes 2% – Riding a Bike
6% – Dumb Things Your Boss Does 3% – Supply and Demand
4% – How Much Money Your Siblings Make 2% – Your First Car
7% – Sex (Males) / Appearance (Females) / Supper (Old Males) / Perms (Old Females)
3% – Being Self-conscious 4% – Tattoo Regret
5% – Childhood Traumas 12% – Corrupted Space (Alcohol)
1% – How to Hand Shake 6% – Celebrity Gossip
9% – Avoiding Work 1%- Work You’re Putting Off
1% – Dreams & Daydreams 1% – Counting to Ten in Spanish
This is Eugene reporting from the world headquarters of DodoEggs.com.
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