Economics – Dodo Style
Walk into a college book store and you’ll find books worth more than the gross domestic product of Papua New Guinea. Select the economics book that has the most attractive cover and open to the first chapter. It should be…
Hosing College Kids – A Model For Profit
The next ten chapters look a little like this…
Chapter 1 – Just a Little More Money and You’ll be Happy
Chapter 2 – The Road to Riches Is Paved With Plastic
Chapter 3 – Stocks, Bonds, Beany Babies, and Other Investments
Chapter 4 – Bankruptcy and How to Keep Your Stuff
Chapter 5 – The Best Nightclubs on Wall Street
Chapter 6 – Too Much Debt and Other Misnomers
Chapter 7 – Killing Rich Relatives without Getting Caught
Chapter 8 – Pennies, Why Nobody Cares
Chapter 9 - Executive Hair Care
Chapter 10 – Understanding Most of the Tax Code
What you won’t find in an economics text are three chapters I believe are more important than those listed above. This is what you should REALLY know about money…
Supplemental Chapter 11 – Inheritance
“Blood may be thicker than water but money is thicker than both.” If you want to see a family tear itself apart like a pack of rabid dogs, wait until wealthy Aunt Beatrice dies with no will. Cousins will slash each other’s tires. I’ve seen it happen.
Even with a will, things can turn into a mess. Thusly, I suggest distributing most of the money before you die.
Hate your family? Plow your money into a house full of rare antiques, then die without a will. Your blood will circle the house like vultures about ten minutes after you start breathing. Your family will shatter like a beer bottle in the parking lot. Remember…”Revenge is a dish best served cold…like you.”
Supplemental Chapter 12 – Money Marries Money
“Birds of a feather flock together.” This is especially true of the wealthy. They have their own schools and clubs. They associate with their peers at work (same income bracket). It’s a little like an invisible caste system. After all a GM executive isn’t going to hang out with the manager of McDonald’s restaurant #2564712. It doesn’t matter that only the fast food restaurant is making money.
Professional athletes don’t quite get this at least not right away.
Supplemental Chapter 13 – Money and Youth
Maturity is a hard value to measure but here are a few qualities most would agree on : patience, self-control, perspective, and selflessness. People absorb these at different rates but one thing is for sure…you can’t buy them! Buying your eighteen year old a BMW because he slacked his way through high school WILL retard the process.
The solution? No one is allowed to make anything more than $30,000 dollar before the age of thirty. Uh, any volunteers?
July 29th, 2009 at 11:53 am
“Birds of a feather flock together.” This must be why Ben and I married, neither of us has anything but each other.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Is thusly a word?
July 30th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
now Josie, that is just down right precious!!!!
July 31st, 2009 at 8:06 pm
“Thusly” is a word, though my spell checker disagrees. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/thusly
August 1st, 2009 at 11:24 am
ben says “are you going to send bret farve a bag of poop in the mail?”
August 2nd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Good post
funny but true