The Question Box

by Matt Teply on June 17th, 2009

From – The Desk Of ChiefDodo
To – Any Employee That’s Still Listening.

Imitative thinking is the backbone of everything we do here at DodoEggs.com.  We’re always researching the very latest in blog technology and incorporating it faster than you can type, “C-u-t and P-a-s-t-e.” 

Spell checked content?  We were four hundred thirty first!  Absorption of royalty free clip-art?  We’re still counting but we’re somewhere in the six hundreds! 

In the word’s of our mortal founder, “Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery – it’s also our only chance at survival.”

To further our company’s near cutting edge innovations, I mounted a Question Box right next to our Suggestion Box.  Some of you have noted the QB’s striking similarities to an old birdhouse.  This is coincidental and any bad smells are a natural byproduct of the speckled black and white paint I used.

The following are questions offered by your fellow employees and answered by your boss.  We only had two this month.

Question #1- “Dear Boss, I was in the toy department with my three year old son yesterday and I saw a battery operated, toy leaf blower.  When I pushed the test button, it made an annoying noise and some colored plastic beads spun.  It didn’t actually blow of course but it did suck.  Why would people buy their kids such a toy and why would a parent purchase one?”

Response from Chief Dodo:  I understand your confusion.  Batteries to replace, obnoxious noise, and a keen lack of imagination are all reasons to scratch your head.  I can just see a proud father thinking to himself, “Son, maybe the chemistry set or building blocks are a little too advanced for you.   Here, try this toy leaf blower.  Careful!  You point the other end at the ground!”

But hey, if they sell then the toy company is doing better than we are…am I right?

Question #2 -  “Dear Chief Dodo, what is the difference between a piece of chocolate cake and a chocolate muffin?  I’m also struggling with the difference between French fries and hash browns other than the cosmetic.  Can you help?”

Response from Chief Dodo:  Wooaa, hold on!  Two-fers can be a little tricky! 

Here’s the difference between a muffin and cake of roughly similar tastes…cooking muffins in single sized portions helps isolate and shrink carboteins.  As you know, carboteins are the primary hormones that your body uses to activate the guilt gland.  The common cylinder shape of the muffin also helps breakdown these dangerous hormones.  By deactivating the guilt gland you lower calorie viscosity and that is a good thing.  I think so anyway.  Heck, they taste better than a bowl of bran flakes.

And I forgot your other question.  Oh well.
       Sincerely, your boss

       Chief Dodo  

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3 Responses to “The Question Box”

  1. dUSTIN Says:

    nice!! & please stay on the dodo eggs

  2. dUSTIN Says:

    NICE ! and keep on the dodo eggs
    GOD speed Cousin Dustin

  3. Meagan Says:

    Just commenting to let you know I still check over here every now and then. I don’t know where you come up with this stuff… cracks me up!

    Hope you and the fam are having a wonderful summer!

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