Dodo Eggs

Have you ever wondered why men grow hair on their chest, back, hindquarters, legs, feet, arms, knuckles, face, but some can’t grow it where they want it (heads)? What kind of stupid genetic mishap allows for his to occur?

Science may blab about testosterone and genetics but you never hear about the real reason. Just behind the pituitary gland and a few feet from the gall bladder is a small organ called the Rediculi Behavula. You won’t find it in an anatomy book because the male establishment doesn’t want you to know it’s there. (But since I’ve always been a ladies man…)

The Rediculi Bahavula is what produces such bad habits in males. Women have been wondering where men’s thoughtlessness has been coming from for years and men have been looking for an excuse. Now both have what they’re looking for!!

For men, this unique organ neutralizes and eliminates any information that does not fall into the “Information Necessary for Survival” category. For the archetypical male this includes knowledge such as: what’s for supper, avoiding chores, fantasy sports, money, and sucking in the gut at the pool. As far as men are concerned, a female already knows when her birthday is so him keeping it in mind would be a repetitive waste of brainpower.

The one dangerous byproduct of the Rediculi Bahavula’s work is the throttling of hair follicles. Hair growth hormones, having been flushed from the brain area, rush to other parts of the body (see list above). Mature men with full heads of hair have underdeveloped Rediculi Bahavula allowing them to better remember important dates and feminine feelings.

For women, this helps explain their spouse’s astounding lack of thoughtfulness or romance. Because an operation to physically remove the Rediculi Bahavula is impractical, we suggest these helpful techniques. Write admiring letters to yourself from a fictional male admirer and post them on the refrigerator. Your male may not find this threatening but even the thickest amoungst them should get the point. If nothing else, it’s worth a laugh. Also, we suggest getting into bikini body shape.

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