Dodo Eggs

I’m sitting in the lifeguard office with my laptop and a dodo egg draft sitting in front of me. It’s not going very well so I look up. Mark Chestnut is sitting across from me with his nose in a philosophy book. His long brown hair is almost obscuring his line of sight.

He catches me staring and looks up. “What’s up Matt?”

I shrug and try to be funny. “I’m just wondering where I can go to check out a copy of all of Nostradamus’s prophesies. If you think about it, the guy was amazing. He predicted Brittany Spears’ melt down plus the 9-11 attacks. So where do I go to read these prophesies? Does the library have a copy? Barnes and Noble? They’ve got to be somewhere and I’d like to read ahead a little bit.”

Mark smiled but didn’t chuckle. I guess it wasn’t that funny. “Matt, let me ask you a question. Do humans have a right to have children? You know as well as I do that parenting is hard work and requires sacrifice. Should we let dysfunctional adults become dysfunctional parents who then produce dysfunctional kids who, well, you get the idea.”

I leaned back. “The answer to your question is forty-two. Now let me ask you a question. How much would someone have to pay you to put an “I’ve run over nearly a hundred honor students” bumper sticker on your car?

Mark rubbed his head for a second. “Well, that really isn’t the answer to my question. Try this…you have two choices and only one group can live. On one side you have the last ten members of an endangered bird species and on the other ten men and women who are all above seventy years of age. Who lives and who dies?”

“Hmmm, give Superman a call.” I replied. “Here’s another for you. How much of your money do you waste at the vet to save a family pet?

Mark reached up and rubbed his chin. I was breaking him. “Um, alright. How many years can there be between spouses before an objection should be raised? Does love transcend age?”

My reply cut him to the quick. “You can only transcend with a license and love should know that. Now try this. If someone hasn’t requested it, is it ever a good idea to give an animal as a pet?”

Mark sighed and went back to his book and I went back to writing dodo eggs.

• Laying A Dodo Egg
• A New Disease!!!
• Need Bathroom Reading?
• Laying Dodo Eggs
• Ten Thousand Free Punches To The Face!