Dodo Eggs

What is in the human blueprint that allows us to complain without end?  Like the unfixable reaches of space or time’s infinite weave, the only thing that limits someone’s ability to complain is the length of our lifespan.  Sometimes it’s justified; most often it’s pointless and repetitive.  To the objective listener, it almost always casts the complainer in a bad light. 

With that in mind, I’d like to present to you may list of complaints in no particular order. 

#1-  KFC’s Chicken “Sandwich” -  I’m not a big fan of fried chicken so it’s a rare occasion to find me sitting in a Kentucky Fried Chicken.  Now, you’d have a better chance of finding me in a Bohemian Fried Dodo. 

After a morning of garage sales with my wife (note:  Not only was this my last time in a KFC it was also the last time I wasted time looking at other’s junk.)  Melissa convinced me to stop at a KFC because it was “on the way.”  I relented.  Since I didn’t care for fried chicken, I choose what should be a safe choice at a restaurant specializing in chicken…a common chicken sandwich.

I received a sagging, squished, white bun and a piece of dry chicken product.  If KFC can’t do a chicken sandwich right, it’s a good thing I didn’t order the Colonel’s beef burrito.

#2 – Showers Left on in the Locker Room – It’s not terribly unusual to walk into the men’s locker room and find one or two showers running full blast with NO ONE IN SIGHT!  Who knows how long they’ve been running?!  Listen to this…someone waltzed in, turned the faucet, soaked up some hot water, then WALKED AWAY LEAVING THE HOT WATER RUNNING! 

If you throw trash out your car window, you’re thoughtless but at least you have a cleaner car.  If you’re done with the shower, why wouldn’t you twist the handle and shut it off?  It takes .3245 of a second!  (I think these are the same people who leave poop in the bowl with no toilet paper.  So, not only did they forget to flush but they also forgot to…   Happens all the time.)

#3 – Nine and Ten Year Olds that Carry Middle-Aged Bellies- I see this at the pool all the time.  A young boy who’s carrying too much weight…waaaay too much weight.  My problem isn’t with the kid; it’s with the parents.  In a very real way, I become angry with parents that let their children put on so many pounds.  Let’s see…it compromises their confidence and how they will come to perceive themselves as adults WITH THE ADDED BONUS of getting a much advanced start on destroying their health. 

Would these parents bother to pull their kids out of the way of a semi-truck?  Of course!  Would they save them from a lifetime of embarrassment and health problems?  Nope.
 
#4 – Seventh Graders – I teach them so, well, that’s it.  The book would write itself.

#5 – Marriage nixing The Thrill of New Love – A good marriage is one of the sweetest pleasures in life and is defiantly the weightier of these two.  That being said…what a shame to miss the thrill of finding a new love or the potential that comes with flirting with someone new.  The extra long stare from someone you just meant and the almost unlimited potential that person represents.  One implied part of saying, “I do” is saying, “I won’t.”

#6 – No Milk in the Refrigerator – Is there one food staple that you ABSOULUTLY must have in the house or you’re unhappy?  If you don’t have it, it throws your entire day or routine into a tailspin?  Maybe it’s coffee, bread or (but hopefully not) beer. 

Wow.  It looks like I was right.  Writing a complaint post WAS easy!

• Grab Bag
• Precious Metals
• The Digressive Gene
• Staff Memo – Coorporate Gym
• Staff Memo – Corporate Gym