A New Game
When my three-year-old son and I are left to our own devices I pitch one of four things…every time. I don’t have to think about child development strategies or the best ways to increase his vocabulary. I just follow the options like a flow chart with only one flow or a winning game plan that never fails. Here it is…
“Hey kid, do you want to wrestle?” If not then, “Hey fruit-of-my-loins, are you hungry?” Already eaten? Then, “Hey junior, care for a overdose of your favorite cartoon?” Mom shakes her head so, “Hey buckwheat, let’s go to the park.”
Each option is a little more appealing than the last. When I finally mention the park, his eyes widen and he jumps up with all the energy of someone with a brand new body. He becomes a three-foot blur scampering toward the front door. Shoes? Maybe. A coat? Only if I can wrestle it on him.
We always have a good time. In defiance of the Law of Averages and even Murphy’s Law, we’ve never been hurt. If we need to pee, we shuffle behind the bathrooms and drop trousers. (Note: He has somehow translated this option into, “You can pee anywhere as long as you’re outside.” Ask our neighbors.) There are swings, and slides, places to climb, and tunnels to hide.
In fact, the most harrowing experience we’ve ever had involved something my boy has said not something he’s done.
We met a boy who was obviously a couple years older. This child had two pop guns (unloaded, whew!) and a fireman’s helmet.
He approached my son and asked, “Do you wanna play firehouse?” Then he offered my son one of the plastic guns.
My son has a mind still soft enough to absorb almost anything from anywhere. Like a well-tended garden, this mind will grow and respond as Melissa and I plant. However, even in the best gardens the wind may bring in ill placed seeds. One of these is the word, “Lipstick.” Although I never use the word and Melissa rarely says it, our son decided it was some sort of game. Your guess is as good as mine.
You can guess how he responded to the other boy. “Nah, do you wanna play lipstick?”
(Awkward pause. Older boy and father staring at my son in confusion.)
I cleared my throat. “What he meant to say was hide-and-seek. His mother looses her lipstick from time to time and it becomes a hide-and-seek game. Heh, heh.”
I guess they bought it. It really didn’t matter. My son didn’t want anything to do with the pretend world all he cared about was running, jumping, throwing, and sliding.
On the way home, I had a talk with my son, “Look pal, repeat after me…nuclear warhead, circular saw, musk, toxic waste dump, pit stains,….”
January 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I will have to say that just thinking about little Saul makes me so happy. What a sweet little boy.
hint- although you say you have no idea where Saul gets the lipstick thing, I have personally seen Saul ask for lipstick after his mother has put some (lipstick or chapstick I dont know what it was) on….
January 9th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Josie is right. I dont put any on him, but I will kiss him after I put on lipgloss. But he calls it lipstick. What can I say, the kid is with my 24/7.