Constructing the Drama (1)
Hello! This handy guide can usher any unemployed couch potato to the lofty ranks of the Senior Network Program Executive Coordinator. All you need is a suit, the ability to recycle old ideas, and a willingness to move to New York or California. Remember, CREATIVITY IS NOT A REQUIREMENT.
Consider this, executives commonly pass on show concepts that wind up as smash hits on other networks. Nearly every network passed on the phenomenon that became “Yiddish Idol” until Fox picked it up. Could you have missed the next television sensation by letting it waltz right under you nose? We say, “Yes!”
What about all the terrible shows that these same executives try to pass on an unsuspecting public each season? With such a high percentage of sitcoms, dramas, and reality shows failing, we are confident that you can also give the green light to the next big flop. We say, “Yes!”
Chapter 1- The Art of the Drama
Section 3 – Plot Catalysts
Now that your concept has been created (Setting The Drama), you have selected your “Love Level” (Loving the Drama), and you have created a working mock-up (Loving the Drama – Lab) you’re finally ready to flesh in the show. All you need to remember is the handy acronym; C FAIMM PHADE pronounced, “See fame fade.” This will be on the test.
C stands for Conflict of Interest- Swen is standing alone on a balcony overlooking Los Angeles. Behind him a cocktail party continues without him. The French doors open and the beautiful Shade joins him. (Cue the Scene)
Shade - “It’s a beautiful night. I love these fresh ocean breezes. Why don’t you come in and try a cigar? Tobias has cracked out the Cubans.”
Swen – (Turns with constipated look on his face.) “Shade, (dramatic pause) I just bought two hundred shares of stock in the Sugar Rush Candy Company. It was too good a deal to pass up.”
Shade- (Look of disbelief) “No, Swen, but you’re a dentist!”
End Scene.
F stands for Family Trouble- A normal nuclear family sits around a dinning room table enjoying meatloaf. Dad is tanned, Mom has obviously had plastic surgery, the young woman is wearing a designer blouse, and junior has perfectly tussled hair. (Cue the Scene)
Mom: (to girl) “Porcelain, what’s wrong? You haven’t touched your meatloaf.”
Porcelain: “It’s my date to the prom, Brick. He’s getting a limo and renting a tux and taking me to a private party after the dance. He’s also hinting he wants more than just a kiss after the evening is done.”
Mom: (confused) “What? That doesn’t sound like Brick, maybe I should call his mother?”
Porcelain: (Stands up in a huff then yells.) “You just don’t understand me!” (Stomps off)
End Scene.
A stands for Abuse or Abusive- Two woman and a haggard looking man are sitting at a small table outside a café. (Cue the Scene)
Herculina: (sips a cup of coffee) “Denzel, I’m concerned. You just don’t seem yourself.”
Denzel: (Groggy and disheveled) “I don’t need your help!”
Dew: “You don’t get out like you used to.”
Denzel: (stands up, jumps over the short iron fence that separates the café’s tables from the busy street.) “I said there’s nothing wrong! Leave me alone!“ (Runs into traffic and is struck by a bus.)
Dew: (sips from her coffee) “Let’s plan an intervention next week. It’ll help boost ratings.”
End Scene.
Note: To add a genuine feel to your addiction scenes, ask your actors what recreational drugs they are currently enjoying then film them without make up.
I stands for Identity Issues- Iliad and Odyssey (yes, twins) are standing in a busy hallway between classes.
Note: Real school halls are filled with loud mobs. The actresses are able to have a conversation because all the other students (extras) are racing by mouthing the word “watermelon” over and over again. Low-level crowd noise is pumped in during postproduction. (Cue the Scene)
Iliad: (Her hair is in a bun. She’s wearing too much make up. Her polka-dotted skirt has ruffles and her t-shirt says, “I brake for yodeling.” She has very thick, ugly glasses.) “I’m just not pretty. No one will ever ask me to the prom. I’m not like you.”
Odyssey: (Stands next to her sister in the latest fashion with guys checking her out as they walk by.) “But we’re twin sisters you moron! We can look exactly the same and I have guys hanging all over me!”
Iliad: (hangs her head.) “Yea, but that’s you. You’re popular and all the guys think you’re hot. That’s just not me.”
Odyssey: (Eyes widen.) “But we’re identical twins!!”
End Scene.
(Part Two tomorrow.)
November 25th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Matt- This is halarious! For not having cable tv you sure do have a good feel for whats on tv…
November 26th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Yes, Matt you are so old that you dont have cable, internet or a cell phone….YOU dont know what is going on!!!! That doesn’t mean that hollywood is putting out new stuff.:)