Dodo Eggs

Here’s one of the downsides to fatherhood…watching your son grow, develop, and become stronger as your attributes diminish.  Perhaps it shouldn’t matter considering I would age regardless of Saul’s presence but I can’t help but feel that he’s speeding the process.

Eventually, Saul will surpass me physically and mentally.  This will force me to make a few small adjustments.  When we wrestle, I’ll have to fight dirty.  I’ll feed him misinformation when it amuses me.  During games of wit, I’ll simply cheat. 

However, even these tactics will eventually fail and I’ll be forced to bend before my son’s youthful vitality.  All of these difficult times I had planned for the future.  It was a bit unexpected that my dark days would arrive this early…

September 27th –Melissa Teply purchases the popular and familiar children’s game Candy Land for Saul James.   

Matt looks at the box and grins, “Hey, I remember this game!  It sounds like fun.  Saul, would you like to play?”

Saul turns towards his toy box and away from his parent’s vision.  He rubs his hands with maniacal glee.  “Wonderful,” he thinks.  “Now I can begin putting my old man in his place.”

With careful precision, Saul selects the right colored gingerbread man.  Victory is assured with the blue choice.  Matt selects yellow before Saul insists his father use red.  Matt grudgingly agrees.

Matt foolishly thinks, “I guess red will be fine.  After all, what difference does it make?” 

Two quick and resounding loses later, Matt folds up the Candy Land board.  “It’s just a bit of bad luck.”  He thinks. 

Saul etches two notches into the top of his toy box.

An old fashioned beat-down…Candy Land style!

September 30th -  Another seemingly benign game is played.  Matt is unaware that the dreaded Mr. Mint has been paid off and will drag Matt back to the beginning only twenty squares from King Candy.  Saul cruses to another victory over his helpless father.  

October 3rd-  “It’s ok daddy.”  Saul consoles his father after a crushing defeat by over a hundred colored squares.  “Mama loves you.”

October 4th – Saul hands his father a copy of the Candy Land rules with, “Read This” crudely written in crayon across the front page. 

October 7th – A stuffed animal joins Saul and Matt.  Two additional loses for Matt as the toy plays a stunning first game claiming victory in a record seven cards.  Matt considers stacking the deck.

October 14th – Saul begins bragging to his friends about his seemingly insolvent winning streak.  Everyone congratulates him (even the non-potty trained, a tough demographic).

Wait! No! That’s Not Candy!

October 18th –Matt throws the board across the room in a rage.  Police are called but no charges were pressed but the Teply family does make the local news.  News anchor begins with, “Sour ending to a sweet game.  Local educator acts as if he’s had a little too much sugar.”

October 21st –Melissa pours a pot of hot caramel onto the game board and slaps it shut.  Thus ending a short but dark chapter in the Teply household. 

October 31st – Matt comes home with Chutes and Ladders.  “Hey Saul, want to play?”

Ages 3 and Up? Maybe Not.

• Great Moments in Parenting
• Don’t Worry. I Survived.
• Grandparent Syndrome
• Dad’s A Goober Awareness Resource
• Childish Reasoning