Dodo Eggs

The political machine can be overwhelming.  It seems that those who wear suits, suit-dresses (a sterile hybrid forced on female candidates designed specifically to keep the candidate off of adult websites…mission accomplished!), ties, and lapel pins in Washington are beyond your voice.  These elected officials seem simply out of touch.  It feels that they have gone beyond being representative of your ideals and have become reprehensive instead.

Fear not!  You can still write your congressman and senator!  Let your pen be the instrument that allows you to script your views onto the agenda of this great nation’s congress.  Write powerfully!  Write often!  Write using false names and addresses to avoid legislative staff recognizing you and throwing your protest into the Potomac! 

Even as a young man, I could not keep from sending my message forth.  Yes, I was young and had yet to outgrow my lisp but I wanted to be heard. 

Matthew Teply
000 DodoEgg Drive
Armpit, ND 58601

Thenator Byron Duggan
203 Cannon Offith Building
Washingthon, D.C. 20515

Dear Thenator Byron Duggan:

Congrathulathons, on your elekthon to the Thenate.  It was a well detherved victory.  I hope that you are thuk-thethful in the next few yearth ath you have been in the patht. 

Ath a contherned thitithen and thudent, I would like to know what your thand on the production of domethic petroleum on national parkth.  It hath been my underthanding that thith particular ithue hath been a highly debatable ithue regarding protecting land and encouraging alternative fuelth.

Could you pleath include a brief ecthplanation of why you are for or againtht thith heated ithue.

         Forthrightly,

         
         Matt Teply 

(Note:  This letter, with small adjustments to the address, was actually sent.  There was no reply.)

Also:  Congratulations America on electing the best candidate instead of the qualified one!

• Fairy News!
• Golden Balls
• Earning an F
• Lost Coin
• Thankfulness