Dodo Eggs

Synopsis:  Roger Kiser is homeless in the town of Buffalo Rind, North Dakota.  It’s just after Christmas and the weather is cold enough to give Santa frostbite.  Roger approached a large cathedral in search of some help.  The notice on the church doors instructed him to approach the stately mansion next door.  Roger approached the iron gate and was greeted by a trio of unwelcoming Doberman pinchers.  An old man emerges from the home and instructs Roger to toss each dog a penny.  He does and the dogs disappear. 

Giving the hinges a good hard stare, Roger skipped all three steps and ascended onto the lawn’s brick path.  He gently closed the gate behind him.  The squeak that had alerted the dogs had strangely disappeared. 

Roger took a few steps toward the home and nearly fell.  A transparent layer of ice over the snow made each step a bit of a balancing act.  The driveway near the home was free of ice and snow indicating that the path Roger had chosen was never properly cleared.

It was just another twist in his quest to find some lodging for the evening.  The older gentleman had obviously mistaken him for someone named Oswego.  On top of this, the dogs had disappeared again which meant they could reappear at any moment.  Kiser felt as if he was on the precipice of becoming dog food.
 
He was halfway up the path when the dogs made their unexpected reappearance.  Roger was nearing the home’s patio and was trying to make eye contact with the old man so he didn’t notice the rushing canines right away.  They came at a run but they weren’t barking.  The only sounds at all were the short multiple snaps of hardened snow breaking under their paws.  They came like bullets tearing around the mansion’s corner.

They were racing directly toward Roger.  When Kiser finally noticed them, he panicked and tried to twist his torso back to the safety of the gate.  As he switched directions his right foot slipped from underneath him with his left hanging in mid-step.  The backpack slid off his shoulder and Kiser landed face down on the unforgiving, frozen earth. 

He heard the sound of glass breaking but was momentary unconcerned.  He heaved himself to one side prepared to protect whatever limbs he could but the dogs had already passed.  One leapt gracefully over his backpack the other two altered their course slightly to transcend him on both sides.  An instant later they were around the mansion’s corner and gone again.

“Hey son!  Sorry about that!  Don’t let the dogs bother you!  If they didn’t want you here you’d be dead already!”

Kiser picked up his backpack and recognized the stench immediately.  He knew that his family’s travel jar of urine had broken, and that his scant belongings were forever tainted.  As quickly as he could, he removed the small carry-on to protect the cell phone.
 
********************

Before hearing the commotion associated with Roger’s arrival, Minot had been enjoying a crossword puzzle at the kitchen table.  Thursday evenings were the quietest part of the week for him.  He took that time to relax.  If only the puzzle would cooperate, he would be having a wonderful time.

“Hmm, let’s see…a ten letter word for successful and prosperous.”  He tapped the eraser end of his pencil against his pursed lips.  Inspiration struck.  “Hmm, B, U, T, T, K, I, S, S, E, R.”

He was in the middle of erasing several more reasonable answers that no longer fit, when he heard one of the dog’s resolute “your attention is necessary” barks.

Minot grudgingly grabbed his boots and stepped out the heavy front door, and onto the porch.  Before pulling the door shut, he flipped on the outside light.  It wasn’t quite dark yet but his vision wasn’t exactly keen.  He had left his glasses on the table and cursed his forgetfulness.  There was someone standing on the other side of the front gate, but it was hard to identify whom with seventy-year-old eyes.

The slumped stature however, did look moderately like his brother.  “Oswego?  Oswego is that you?  Well c’mon then!  Offer the dogs a penny, and they will leave you alone!  Then hurry on up here!  You should know that by now you brainless prop!”  He turned to retrieve his glasses.  “I’ll be back in a minute.”

When he returned, the visitor was about twenty feet from the porch.  Minot gained a better view of what he thought was Oswego.  He then mumbled about his failing eyesight.  This young man was definitely not his brother, and the old man didn’t feel like enduring any solicitations.

“This better not be another stupid, worthy cause.  Just because of my profession, people think I should give to everything!  Well maybe I have priorities!   Just last week, I purchased twelve boxes of Youth Scout’s pastries.  Those idiots mixed up my order from blueberry to rhubarb.  Rhubarb!”  Minot’s face crumpled up with distaste.  He hated rhubarb, but was forced to eat them because he strongly believed food should never be wasted.

The young man was about halfway up the path when the dogs ran past him.  Sometimes his dogs would dash around the house kicking up snow.  He could only guess they were just chasing each other or racing.  Whatever it was, Oswego couldn’t complain enough about their adverse effects on his lawn and landscaping.  The old man should have cared for his brother’s concerns but often didn’t.   

The old man loved his dogs.  As pups, however, they caused more problems than they were worth.  Rex, King, and Caesar had been their original names.  After two weeks of ownership, he switched them to Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Mephistopheles.

“Ha, those dumb dogs are probably going to scare the pee out of that poor kid.”  
Roger jumped, and yelled for mercy as the Dobermans sprinted by.  He dropped his backpack, and fell hard.  Something broke when his bag hit the ground. 

The older gentleman could only shake his head in disgust. “Well crud, I suppose I’ll be asked to pay for that.”  He took a breath and raised his voice, “Hey son, sorry about that.  Don’t let the dogs bother you.  If they didn’t want you here you’d be dead already.”

• On The Porch (14)
• Stairway to Evil (15)
• The Gate (12)
• Some Neglected Luck (8)
• An Icy Hug (10)