Dodo Eggs

Sometimes being so sophisticated is hard to rationalize.  I have National Public Radio on my first preset and I listen to in the morning as I travel to work.  On weekends, I’ll listen to the just to see how they are filling the airwaves.  The fare is an easily ignored medley of travel shows (significantly less interesting because it’s RADIO), cooking shows (just let me know when they start serving duck la rue at the drive-through), variety shows (think Lawrence Welk without the bubbles or the dynamic personality), and game shows (how many words can you pull out of the phrase ABSOLUTLY DISINTERESTING?)

Above all this, the worst offences are the music reviews.  Each time one of NPR’s critics assumes the airwaves I roll my eyes in advance.  Here are their guidelines as well as I can determine.

1. All music reviewed by the critics of National Public Radio must not receive any airplay on a regular commercial station.  We want exclusive content.

2.  The music should create the following responses in listeners: confusion, bewilderment, or incomprehension.

3. Preference is given to foreigners who play an instrument no one has ever heard of yet are very popular in several remote African villages. 

4. “Come backs” by music artists who never really arrived are approved material.

5. If it were played in an elevator, would complete strangers look at each other and shrug their shoulders?

On a somewhat related note…My brother and I attended a professional football game in Nashville a couple of weeks ago.  During the half time show, the public address blasted this good news, “Ladies and gentleman!  Look to the screens at either side of the stadium for an introduction to the latest country music recording sensation, Sally Tallboots!

Before her image erupted onto the screen, I elbowed my brother.  “Just wait, she’s going to be really hot.”

We waited for Sally to appear on the screen.  When she showed up, every guy in the stadium looked over.

“Yep,” My brother responded.  “She’s attractive.”

I continued.  “Now, let me ask you a question.  If she could sing her lungs out, and looked like Miss Piggy would we still be marveling at Miss Tallboot’s talents?”

My brother took a sip from his five-dollar soda.  “No, I suppose not.”

“I mean, in what profession, other than music, does you ability to do the job come second to something unrelated, like how you look?  Why don’t we go to doctors based on how well they play poker or home builders on how many children they have?”

“Surprisingly,”  Nate deadpanned.  “My ability to find you interesting is related to you buying me another soda.”

• Male Studies – Letter 12, Page 2
• The Ultimate Post
• The Truth & Media Bias
• Interview with Franklin Huff
• Reality Television