Dodo Eggs

If you walk into the bathroom at the Château de Teply, you will see two black wires protruding from a hole in the wall.  The wires converge to form a screw in socket for a primitive, incandescent bulb.  It has been this way for the better part of six months and there are no plans to replace it.

We went to a chain hardware store to buy a replacement fixture but we ran into difficulties.  I didn’t care for any of the styles they had in stock.  After all, why would I want my house to look exactly like two million others?  And the one fixture Melissa did like, I wouldn’t look at twice. 

As I like to say, “The two ladies of the house couldn’t agree.”

When it comes to my personal environment, I am at least six times more concerned than the average male.  All wall hangings must be Matt approved before hanging.  All arrangements on any flat surface must meet my ambiguous requirements before they are allowed to stay that way.  And all books must that reside on a bookshelf must be properly organized!

Here are a few of the rules…

1. The Fifty Year Rule- Before any piece of furniture is allowed in my home, one must ask, “Will this piece still have value fifty years from now?”  If it’s made of sawdust, glue, and a plastic laminate then the answer is no. 

2. Genuine Wall Hangings -Absolutely no prints, posters, or anything else that was produced en mass.  Everything that hangs at the Chateau is an actual oil painting.  Some were bought at starving artist shows.  We enjoy one of a kind black and white photographs and antiques (two old mirrors).   

3. Décor Shops are for Old Ladies – Before you place something out for display, ask yourself if it has any possibility of gaining value.  The goofy poly-resin accent pieces you can by at “pretties” shops are just junk waiting to happen.  Find items that had a genuine purpose (old books, wind up clocks, architectural accents from old homes). 

4. Wild Hair Rule – You can enjoy a wide range of beautiful colors for your home without resorting to a “wild hair.”  These are colors that don’t force your attention.  Dark purple will make visitors to your home notice the paint and probably nothing else.

5. The Long Story -Homes not only reflect their owners style but also a family’s history.  Pieces of real worth perfectly blend a pleasant look, genuineness, and a story.  Each piece should be like a page in your life’s story.

Everyone wants to express themselves somehow.  I choose not to flush money into clothes or my car.  I mold the image of who I am through my home.  With these rules and a pinch of good taste (in short supply), your home can be a perfect expression of who you are (just like mine).

• Mental Mechanisms
• Eggshells
• Un-Aware
• College Rules
• Reality Television