Childish Reasoning
As previously posted in DodoEggs.com (see: The Big News), Mrs. Teply and I have begun construction of a new human! It was the brochure that really sold us…
The TeplyGeneration XXI Version 2 will come complete with a large capacity OBGYN bill and matching hospital expenses. It is delivered without the social norm and language software preinstalled that would make operating so much easier. Also missing is the converter that changes its waste into more environmentally friendly compounds like water or turpentine. Unfortunately, the handling will be a tad sensitive and the lack of motor skills makes the Teply Generation XXI a little sluggish off the changing pad.
The truth is a little more complicated. Melissa and I were both happy with our first child and neither of us was particularly interested in starting from scratch. The memories of having to feed every two hours, diapers, and teaching the young one to eat were still fresh on our minds. Also, Melissa didn’t like being pregnant and I don’t care to listen to her being pregnant. Why would we want to start over?
Answers: We didn’t want Saul to be an only child and we wanted to get it out of the way.
It sounds a bit harsh but it’s the truth. Obviously we will love the second child as much as the first. It will be a pride and joy to us and every measure of affection set aside for our first would be given to our second. But making the decision was a bit different.
Melissa and I were staring at one another on a slow Sunday afternoon. She was finishing her lunch when she turned to me and asked. “Matt, when are we going to have another child? I don’t want our boy to be an only child and I don’t want to be a mom-with-baby forever.”
“Well, why don’t we go ahead and have our second now? Then when it’s old enough for school you can go back to work or whatever. Counting the time you’ve spent at home with our first it will be ten years of staying at home.”
Melissa shrugged her shoulders. “Ok then.”
The conversation was so benign you could have close captioned a conversation on losing a sock.
I’ve asked many of our friends the following question, “Is it reasonable to have a second child simply because you don’t want the first to be an only child? Given that parents are capable, loving, and competent.”
Surprisingly, most folks responded that our reasoning was sound. They called it “family planning.” It’s a phrase that doesn’t fit in well with the clashing cymbals, fireworks, and singing angels that should be heralding such a decision.
September 9th, 2008 at 7:45 am
I have a feeling that my wife and I going to be in the same situation. With #1 on the way, it’s definitely been not the best journey, and from what I hear, it doesn’t get much better until after the little one has lept from his or her cozy hotel into our lives.
September 9th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Certainly the excitement has gone up now since you know that this experience will be a bit different. Rearing a girl is different. Even though my lil bro and sis were (are) twins, we had to handle them so differently because of their complete opposite personalities (and the stereotypes too, i suppose, like dressing her up all frilly). It was really interesting, still is.
September 9th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Well, it did happen that way. But a ??? I am still in shock.
September 9th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Oh but those are so the memories that you will look back at and smile about. The late nights aren’t easy, but oh so very precious!!! You will never regret having another one. Amazingly enough your love just grows for each additional child instead of subtracting from the first child.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:17 am
matt i think its great you had a second …if i would have grown up without a little bro to beat on i would have been lost… so thats just great
kind of like you and nasty nate