Dumbknuckle – Lesson 4
Congratulations! You’ve now completed three lessons and the abstract concepts of the DumbKnuckle may be starting to take hold but don’t get too confident. Sometimes DumbKnucles aren’t belligerent just confounding. Your interaction with them will have you scratching your head for days or months after you’ve entered the afterlife.
Remember that it isn’t always distinct plumage that identifies the wild DumbKnuckle. (Although anything paisley is usually a good sign.) It is a person’s behavior that marks a well thought human from the mind splitting actions of the DumbKnuckle. As we speak, there’s a one with a pyramid scheme, time-share, or ticket to a professional wrestling event just waiting to find you.
Scenario Four
The school day was over and I was enjoying the flushing sound of middle school students exiting the building.
After the last one left the building, I ambled back into my room and over the beaten body of the educational ideal. I saw it riddled with pencils and pens. Bleeding words from the science text all over my floor, I could only shake my head and plan for it’s survival tomorrow.
“Mr. Teply! Mr. Tutter’s little boy is here. Come say hello.”
I walked into the hallway and coming down the hall was my coworker pushing a three-wheeled stroller with his son strapped inside. Most of the female teachers had already gathered around. They were waving, smiling, and speaking in voices almost three and a half octaves higher than normal.
Meandering up, I offered, “You know ladies, I’ll bet the boy can hear lower tones as well.”
“Shut up, Mr. Teply. We’re showing excitement over little Josh’s arrival.”
I went to one knee and waved at the child. Josh was almost two and really didn’t care about anything except the bit of chocolate he was haphazardly smearing around but not necessarily in his mouth.
Then my expression hardened. Josh’s hair was a mess, his shirt had at least two different stains, his nose was covered with crusty, dried snot, and in the duct of his left eye was a goober almost the size of a dime.
Mr. Tutter was showing his little boy around and it was hard to see the kid past the mess.
Question #1- Multiple Choice
The best compliment I could offer would have been…
A. (falsetto) Yea, I could just clean you up. Yes, I could.
B. If I had a daughter the same age and a jumbo container of wet wipes…
C. Finally, a baby that’s not caught up in being cute all the time!
D. It takes most kids all day to work up this kind of mess!
Question #2- Multiple Choice
An appropriate departing comment would have been…
A. You’ve got a real angel there! One with just a heavenly hint of mucus.
B. Hey! Next time you change his diaper, try cleaning the other end too!
C. Eye boogers normally fall out by 10 but you’ve hung onto that one all day!
D. My grandmother would have run him through a car wash already.
Question #3- True or False
Mr. Tutter didn’t clean Josh up because his son could “ooze” no wrong.
Question #4- True or False
Josh’s daycare is at the Centers for Disease Control.
Question #5- True or False
If Mr. Tutter sees fit to show off his kid when Josh is a mess…then the Tutter home and car must look like the seventh level of Hell.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Well Matt I will have to say that Saul is probably the cleanest cutest sweetest little boy I know!! So I can see why you are not too impressed!