Dodo Eggs

Whenever I stroll down the street from DodoEggs.com’s corporate headquarters in Manhattan, fans seem to bombard me.  Many want an autograph (which is good for free condiments from the hot dog vendor on Wall Street) and others want to ask me questions. 

Yet I prefer to direct their inquaries to the three foundations I chair.  All three buy land in the Central African Republic as an extinct bird sanctuary where we hope the dodo will make a full recovery.

One question I field all the time is why I run DodoEggs.com.  Why would I quit my highly respected position as a seventh grade math teacher to take the dirty, high stress job running DodoEggs.com?  After all, our customers demand a high quality product everyday.

Often I mumble some irrelevant answer about the state of the Internet and the lack of high quality daily sites.  I compare it to a pet, a diary, and the comic strips.  All of this is true to a small degree.

For the truth, I open my wallet and pull out a sheet of paper with my life’s To-Do list scribbled in smeared black ink.  It was written when I was fifteen and looks a little like this…(the parenthesis are my modern additions).
 
Job #1 – Meet girl and communicate successfully.  This would be your first love. (CHECK)

Job #2 – Marry the first available female. (CHECK myself into the psych ward!  What I meant to say is, marry finest available female.)

Job #3 – Find a career that gives me basically zero tangible results. (BIG RED CHECK)

Job #4 – Buy a home with historic value and little previous upkeep. (write another big repair CHECK)

Job #5 – Have a child and make sure he/she never embarrasses you publicly. (CHECK out cloning as an option)

Job #6 – Retire  (May my CHECKerboard board never gather dust.)

Look at the space between Job #5 and Job #6!  Holy Cow!  Something interesting needed to happen besides buying a new (used) car every six or seven years.  I cannot slip into obscurity so easily. 

Ergo, DodoEggs.com is my Job #5.5.  It’s the next mountain.  It’s a fresh breath of air.  It’s the promise of one day having the clout of ten and a half readers. 

To put it plainly, “The site scratches were I inch and you need not know where.”

• Application for Employment
• New & Exciting Product #562!
• Loving the Drama – LAB
• Bull Rider
• Choosing A Mate