Dodo Eggs

*Work is underway on my second child.  I’m sure you know about the nausea, aches, pains, and the forcible effects pregnancy has on a woman’s body but you may not be fully aware of the man’s responsibilities.

1. Destroy all scales in the house.  No one is to know what anyone weighs.

2. Sufficiently show remorse for not equally carrying the growing child.

3. Compulsively reinforce her self-image.

4.   Fully express your disgust regarding any girl who’s “just too skinny.”

*I must admit that the excitement over the arrival of our second child fails to compete with the enthusiasm we held for our first child.  The first time we discovered a new life had been created, phone calls were made immediately and the news related in eager tones. 

When Melissa told me we were expecting number two, I said, “Alright, is there anyone you want to call?”  

There’s no better example of this than the pregnancy test.  With our first child, the plastic stick hung out on our mantle for almost two months before being filed into some dusty drawer.  We may still have it.  I honestly have no idea.  In fact, it sounds a little gross by now.  The second test was simply thrown away.

*I was in the nursery closet the other day amazed by the literal bushels of infant and toddler clothes we have.  That’s not counting the millions of outfits we’ve sold at garage sales.  All the extra clothes we’ve kept are folded into carefully labeled boxes such as, “Three to four mouths – Winter” and, “Outgrew as we were putting it on.”

Stepping out of the closet, I noticed that we’ve no plans to update the nursery either. 

“Well,” I told Melissa.  “If the second one is also a boy, then I’m guessing his first phrase will probably be ‘hand-me-down.”

Melissa grinned.  “Don’t worry.  He or she may wind up with a second hand nursery and old clothes but we’ll whip up a fresh batch of love for him.  Kinda sweet, right?”   

• Childish Reasoning
• Baby Tools
• The Gift of Giving
• Feminine Fortunes
• Dear Doctor Pokorny – Smith Letter