Inside the GHC
Minutes from the December 3rd, 1984 meeting of the GHC
Gorgeous Hunks Club
Members in Attendance at the Playhouse:
Matt Teply (Chairman), Greg Kramer (Clerk), and Jon Sugarman (Member)
Greg opens the meeting with our salute to the Retardo Entertainment System.
“A digital princess? It’s all we got.
The dragons have been slain.
Mighty joysticks don’t win girls,
Our high scores equal no gain.
A pretty face says, “Game over.”
Rejection is our greatest dread.
Have no fear! An idea is here!
Reset buttons on a girl’s forehead.
“Going out?” We’re not real sure.
But the game guide has a cheat.
We’ve beat the game in record time!
But our bike has no second seat!
All have a seat. Chairman Matt begins formal proceedings by recognizing Jon Sugarman. “The GHC would like to formally thank your mother, Mrs. Sugarman, for bringing you over for the meeting. We understand you are still in trouble for kicking that Brian kid in the head while he was walking in front while you were swinging.”
Jon stands and is recognized. “Yea, let’s get started with old business right away. I thought the GHC was going to back me up with some legal representation! After all, witnesses put Courtney Haskell on the monkey bars nearby and I had to earn her attention! That stupid Brian chased a ball right into my path Neither of us was paying attention but I’m the one who got in trouble.
I thought you guys were going to fabricate someone pushing Brian into the way?! Were are you guys?”
Chairman Matt coughs and motions to Greg. “Clerk Greg, do you have the paperwork we need to assist our member?”
Clerk Greg begins flipping through the tattered three ring binder that serves as the GHC’s formal record. “Uh, Mr. Chairman it would appear that I left the paperwork in my lunch box. I would immediately draft another resolution but I cannot find my black crayon and we all know any affidavit we write needs to be done as professionally as possible.”
“What!? I’ll have already cleaned the bathroom and kitchen by then! I’ve done everything I can to commute the sentence until after school tomorrow and I needed GHC’s help! I knew I should have joined a group that meets in a tree house!”
Clerk Greg raises his hand and is recognized by Chairman Matt. “If I may, it is Gorgeous Hunks Club official policy that video games are the answer to all difficulties. Mr. Sugarman, if I may, would your grievance be settled if we gave you first play on Yodel Brothers?”
Jon tarries for a minute as he weighs a counter offer. “Two first plays and any free guys I get I get to play.”
Chairman Matt offers a shrug and Clerk Greg nods. “Very well, meeting adjourned.”
Leave a Reply