Dodo Eggs

I was speaking with noted expert Norm dePlume this morning and during our conversation an interesting quarry was brought up. How important is height for a woman in determining a man’s attractiveness?

Women of the World…You are presented two men. Both are equally good looking with rugged features complimented perfectly with soft eyes and lips. A square jaw and proud shoulders are attributes they both share. Both have strong salary potential and keen wits that keep you smiling.

However, important differences remain. The first bachelor (We’ll call him Poindexter.) comes from a family that is almost completely free of inherited disease. In fact, they like to laugh that the only thing that can kill them is a bullet or a bad joke. Most die of old age around ninety with all their mental facilities intact. Cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, and heart disease are basically nonexistent.

Oh yea, he’s two inches shorter than you.

The second bachelor (Known as Rothschild to his friends) has a much different family background. Most in his family are called to judgment by sixty-five. Each person is found with and eliminated by some genetically inherited susceptibility. No one with his last name escapes diabetes although he hasn’t shown up with it yet. He understands his situation and does his best to maintain his good health.

He’s also two inches taller than you.

I surveyed several of the young ladies at the pool. The results were mostly split with a good many opting out with the lame answers like, “I love the boyfriend I have now.” Or, “I wouldn’t date either.”

The answer to me was obvious. I would marry Poindexter. While I was looking for ladies to possibly court, I avoided several once I found out that their fathers had severe male pattern baldness. You read that correctly, I was so concerned about my future children that I wouldn’t date a girl if her father didn’t have most of his hair.

My mother must have dropped me on my bald, newborn head.

Readers can offer your input in the comments section or try our latest option…the vote.

• The Tungsten Tongue
• Fun Impaired
• Golden Balls
• Un-Aware
• Ask Dr. Pokorny