Dodo Eggs

I’m sitting across the table from four complete strangers.  They are wearing oxford blue button up shirts and black veils.  Obscured by the veils are the blaze of crimson eyes.  The strangers are a group of Satan’s henchmen and I’m playing Trivial Race against them for the fate of my very soul. 

One of them hands me a parchment.  It’s warm and singed on all sides.  The elegant script glows red having an alarming resemblance to fresh blood.  Listed are the categories for the game…
 
Orange- Things Competent People All Know  

Blue – History (Pre 1993)

Yellow – Rules For Crossing The Street 

Green – Continent, Country, or County?

Brown – The Constitution says…

White – Adding Fractions (Timed)

I am allowed to pick three people for my team from the young people I work with at the Parks and Recreation Department.  I consider the young minds who will help determine my fate.  In a slow deliberate motion, I put my head on the ebony table.

Pointing to my neck, I say, “So, are you minions of evil using a guillotine or a scythe these days.  Hey, could you put my soul between the guy who came up with photo enforced traffic tickets and the bozo who developed low-flow toilets?  If eternity is as long as they say it is, I’ll need all that time to complain.  Thanks.”

And yet, my dismissive attitude for today’s generation may be totally unfounded!  Listen to this…

During a long day at the pool, a couple of guards began discussing state laws banning people from using their cell phones while driving.  They understood that driving while involved in an intense conversation splits one’s attention.  Sam had even heard of a study that equated cell phone usage with driving intoxicated. 

It didn’t matter.  They all panned the law.

“It’s a horrible law.”  I agreed.  “Mainly because I know that drivers who can’t have their ears to a phone will have their eyes on a cell phone screen texting all their friends.  I don’t know about you but I’d rather have their eyes on the road.”

All three guards replied like members of the same chorus.  “But I can text without looking!”

I didn’t believe them.  “Ok, everyone have their cell phones handy?”  (Wasted pause)  “Of course you do.  Alright, without looking type in, ‘Mr. T is going to break my legs after work.”
A few moments of spastic thumbs and all had completed their assignment.  With only one typo, all three had typed in exactly what I had dictated!  I was shocked.

“Does everyone have this ability?”

“Everyone with a cell phone.  Geesh, Mr. T!  Don’t you know anything?”

• Generation Gap
• Rodeo Rundown
• Entertaining Problems
• Drama Mama
• Eavesdropping