Dodo Eggs

Dumbknuckles can be found in almost any environment.  They are one of the most adaptive sub-species on the planet.  From pompous suits before a board meeting to porch sitting on a hot summer evening, you cannot predict the next dumbknuckle sighting.    
 
And remember your field assignments!  You must sight at least three dumbknuckles before our next class.  If you’re having trouble, try ecosystems where you can find fireworks with unsupervised kids, wine tasting, and terse exchanges regarding fantasy sports.   

If you’ve completed lesson one, you’re ready to move on to number two.

Scenario Two

The gyms I remember best were dirty places with a thick layer of rust and grim covering the bars and plates.  There weren’t too many windows but plenty of mirrors which you would only use in passing or if you were actually lifting something.  It was called “watching your form.”  The music came from second hand speakers or a boom box that had seen better days.

There was a machine against the far wall that no one really understood.  There was the standard pad and pulley but the pad was raised and facing one side.  I would have guessed it was an abdominal machine if there were a seat closer to the pad.  As it was, the only use I could have imagined was to rest your chest against the pad and bow at the hip.

A young kid had another idea.  After using much of the other equipment, he wandered over to the mystery machine.  He looked at it for a minute before placing his forehead against the pad and pushing it down with his neck. 

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared.  The guy wouldn’t have known since the pad also covered his eyes.  With a grunt and teeth clenched, he worked his neck forward and back.  He was the center of attention until he finished his set, rubbed blood back into his forehead, and wandered off to the next weight machine.

 Question #1 – How would a neck as thick as a redwood impress the ladies?
 
A. It makes the nodding gesture, “That way” make her want to go “your” way.
B. A bulging neck turns girls on to giving hickeys.
C. A thicker neck makes getting thorns tattooed around your neck that much more practical.
D. Hey, a thicker neck means a deeper voice.

Question #2 – Circle the answer that best completes the sentence.

 The next muscle group this young man plans to work out would be his (ear wigglers / underarm hair follicles / self esteem estimators).

Question #3-Write a ten word essay describing your attitude toward the young man in this story.  Try using relevant prompts and comparisons such as…crash victim, better head banging, face plant, trophy mount, and making giraffes jealous.

• DumbKnuckle – Lesson 1
• Dumbknuckle – Lesson 4
• DumbKnuckle – Lesson 5
• DumbKnuckle – Lesson 3
• The Tungsten Tongue