DumbKnuckle – Lesson 1
Open an undergraduate catalogue and you’ll find a million classes on boring topics such as Global Warming and The Middle East – Differentiating 110 Degrees from 105 and The Canadian Revolution – Death Toll and Notable Battles.
If there is room for these topics, then surly our institutions of inflated learning can offer graduate classes on subjects that truly matter. In fact, every major’s requirements should bump Speech and Bowling for much more pertinent classes. For example, Credit- Not The Same as Having Real Money and Slot Machine Math: Why 95% payback still means you lose.
I have even gone through the trouble to craft the curriculum to, Aspects and Behavior of the Wild Dumbknuckle. If you didn’t know, a dumbknuckle is a sub-species of homo sapiens whose unique brain structure allows for erratic behavior. Everyone should take this class!
Until a major college subscribes to my course, I am offering it on-line for free. All material is taken from real life. You can submit your answers into the comment section below.
Test #1
Scenario- Matt is running in the park on a cool, fall afternoon. He is running at his regular pace as he comes up on another man jogging at a slightly slower rate. Matt says absolutely nothing as he passes the gentleman. Within a few minutes, the distance between the two runners is such that when Matt turns a corner, he cannot see the slower jogger.
Rounding toward the front of the park Matt hears footsteps rapidly approaching from behind. The other runner whips by Matt pointing skyward with a proud index finger in the “I’m number one” position. To top off his performance, he stops at the park entrance and bows to Matt with the flourish of a Broadway performer.
Question #1- What was the other runner thinking?
A. Matt is a talent scout for the Bohemian Olympic Team
B. The runner wanted Matt to get a good look at his bald spot
C. “I won’t accept another participant’s ribbon!”
D. His 268 pound friend was watching from the bed of his pickup.
Question #2- After putting on such a dynamic display, the runner…
A. spent the next week reliving the glory over pork rinds and a milkshake.
B. contacting Hollywood screenwriters to write the movie.
C. imagining how fast he could run on three legs.
D. calling Matt and breathing heavily.
Question #3 – A sports broadcaster covering the event would have said,
A. “Looks like the crowd forgot to buy tickets to this one.”
B. “Look how well he runs with that extra weight! Astounding!”
C. “We’re coming to you LIVE from the Extra Special Olympics.”
D. “Next up for this athlete, Portugal’s Running of the Squirrels.”
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 am
I’m gonna go ahead and say: 1. C 2. A 3. A
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
1. A 2. B 3. C
Matt are you just trying to cope with defeat by making fun of this poor man who trumped you?
July 27th, 2008 at 12:34 am
He actually bowed?? what a dork
July 7th, 2009 at 9:26 am
1.) A 2.) A 3.) D