Dodo Eggs

Innovation, development, accuracy, hallucinations…these are the words that drive the mission at DodoEggs.com. It is our relentless pursuit of more pretentious letterhead that make us the industry’s memorandum standard bearers! Better letterhead for a brighter tomorrow!

Dear Employees,

It has come to my attention that our main rival ChickenPoop.com is in development of a super advanced predictions list for 2009. Who saw this coming!?

I have contacted our research department about creating such a list for 2010 and have been given notification that they only work with past information.

Folks, the past is the past. Let’s put is this way…do you want day old doughnuts or tomorrow’s cookie dough? Nine out ten people can’t remember what they wore yesterday. I rest my case.

In a rush of executive power, I have sold the entire research department to the Japanese. If you work in offices 207 to 215, Casual Day has been changed to Komono Friday. Sayonara.

The maintenance department has approached me regarding our needs and has come through with a list we can use. However, he have had problems beta testing as the toilet paper the lists are printed on have not proven to be very durable.

DodoEggs.com’s potent predictions for 2010…

5. Thanks to the possibility of Global Warming, North Dakota retailers sell their first bikini! The governor proposes three days of bikini training titled, “Two pieces = One bathing suit!”

North Dakota’s beach development team will look into leasing beach property from coast-wealthy states but transporting the coast back to Dakota will remain an issue.

4. Nostradummy’s (second cousin of famous prophet) work is discovered in a desert cave in the Middle East. Visionary predicts color television, horseless buggies, and flavored tortilla chips.

Archaeologists find unused corner of the Smithsonian’s maintenance closet to display scrolls.

3. The credit industry will create another advance that provides the debt laden American consumer with additional purchasing power. Generational financing! Now you can leave the worn out, coffee stained couch to your children along with the bill stuffed between the cushions.

2. A great earthquake will temporarily change the direction the water in our toilets rotates. Plumbers across the world are called in to make necessary adjustments on all existing toilets.  In a startling revelation, it will be discovered that water’s opposite rotation helps prevent clogs.

Leaders of plumbers unions are called before Congress to explain the huge cover up and kick-backs received from the plunger industry.

1. Scientists in Chile discover a way to combine the two most potent power sources on earth. This hybrid fuel, a volatile mixture of caffeine and sarcasm, is able to power every vehicle on earth for more than three weeks on one tank!

• Staff Memo – Expense Accounts
• Staff Memo – Sexual Harassment
• Staff Memo – Pot Lucks
• Developmental Item
• Optimist