Dodo Eggs

Dodo Eggshells are something like a pile of building blocks that gathers at the bottom of a toy box.  None of them are from the same set.  They’re all different colors and sizes but if you piece them together just right you can build such dynamic things like…a wall, a tower, a lopsided pyramid, and modern art.

These are the broken pieces of dodo eggs that never quite made it.

Eggshell #1- The more you practice something the better you become, right?  If this is the case, THEN WHY CAN’T I GET ANY BETTER AT MRS. PACMAN!  I’ve been playing the game since I was twelve and I still stink.  But I cannot leave her, I love her too much.

Eggshell #2- Does it affect a couple’s excitement at adoption if they see pictures of the child’s parents and they look like mug shots of Humpty Dumpty and Quasimoto?

Eggshell #3- Women have a limited excuse for being moody.  Men do not.  Working with a moody man is as frustrating as playing cards with a deck of 51.

Eggshell #4- Do you realize that two people having a sensitive conversation can spontaneously generate words or odd analogies for the male anatomy?  And yet, everyone knows what they mean?  

First Baseball Player:  “Yea man, the ball seemed to slip right through my glove.  It wound up hitting me in my campachos.”

Second Baseball Player:  “I know exactly what you mean.  I’ve been hit in the watermelon patch myself.  Hurts like heck.”

Eggshell #5- What do you think would happen if you wore a polka-dotted shirt to an Amish funeral?

Eggshell #6- Spanish must be a difficult language indeed if they need to use so many words for the same item.  Is there anything wider than a hair’s width of difference between a burrito, flautos, enchilada, fajita, quesadilla, chimichanga, tamale and gordita?  Moo-E Loco.

Eggshell #7- I would have thought that the “plain” potato chip would have gone the way of the dodo by now.  Let’s face it, when you walk down the snack isle at the grocery store you are offered dill pickle, nacho cheese, sour cream and onion, ranch, and everything else. 

With so many suitors, surly one suits your tastes!  Why would you choose a bag of just plain chips?!  Why use dip when so many have flavor already on the chips?  Find a favorite!  Quit buying dull potato chips!

• Ten Thousand Free Punches To The Face!
• A Collection of Eggshells
• Baseball Card
• The Platinum Tongue
• Necessary Downsizing