Dodo Eggs

From the desk of Dr. Norm dePlume,
Professor of Rectal Sclerosis at Dakota University -Medora Branch
2008 Winner of DUMB’s Most Expensive Textbook Competition
     

To My Esteemed Colleagues,

For many years, our understanding of the hormone driven behavior of the young male has lumped haphazardly into the catch phrase, “Boys will be boys.”  Science and we as scientists must consider this grossly insufficient to our intellectual demands.  We as men of learning must peel back the layers of that hide the young male’s inner psyche. 

We must ask ourselves what makes young males respond, “Man, yea!  I’ll take another!” to nine out of ten randomly generated questions.

As scientists we must understand why, with such a willingness to mate, these young males dress and groom so poorly when males of other species puts on his best.

With a generous appropriation from the Centers for Disease Control, we have wired a typical dorm room with cameras, listening devices, and small hoists.  Little effort was needed to conceal our surveillance equipment as we have labeled everything with, “Cable for 1500 Channels.”  The room was actually given cable access.  We have little fear they will count.

Our specimens are two males we have affectionately named Binko and Zits.  They were lulled into permanent occupancy of the room by the lowering of baked goods whenever they lost consciousness.  These baked goods are made from sugar, white flour, and the most advanced space age materials, which give them a shelf life that tops canned goods. 

I will keep you posted regarding our studies.

                              Regards, 
       

                              Professor Norm dePlume      

• Male Studies (Letter 3)
• Male Studies (Letter 4)
• Male Studies (Letter 6)
• Male Studies (Letter 5)
• Male Studies – Letter 10