Trading Dodo eggs for Arms
This post is part of an archive. To read the current version, we recommend “Armed with Dodo Eggs.”
A day earlier, I found a picture of some hip-hop performers on the hallway floor. It had a black back ground with gold lettering set in front of a bouquet of one hundred dollar bills. The performers (artists might be a bit of a stretch) stood in intimidating poses with long T-shirts that if tapered in the middle or accessorized with a wide belt would look more like miniskirt dresses.
“Do you see what these guys are doing?” I asked another teacher. “Take a hard look at what they are doing with their arms. Do you see it?”
The teacher gave the tattered magazine page a hard look. “This must have fallen out of someone’s locker.”
I tried again. “No, I mean do you see what those clowns are doing to their arms?”
She squinted at the middle performer. “You mean the tattoo? I think it says, ‘Lil’Big’n.”
“What I’m trying to show you is that the guys have their arms crossed and their pushing their biceps wide with the back of their fists.” I pointed to the picture. “Do you see it?”
“No, I thought they had just big muscles.”
I snatched the photo and made my gesticulations (that’s right, I’m not afraid to use the word) much stronger. “That’s an old trick we used to use in high school. Pushing the backside of your arms flattens them and makes them look larger! This works on you?”
She took a step backward and I realized that my surprise was coming off as a little abrasive.
“I’m sorry, let me fill you in on important information regarding men and crossing their arms. One, if a guy is at the pool and he’s crossing his arms he’s self-conscious about his man-boobs or this extra flab. Two, if a guy has his arms crossed and is walking; he is posing like a peacock with feathers in full show. No one walks with his arms crossed. And three, if you’re a rap guy it means, ‘I couldn’t letter with my high school band but your still buy’n my album, sucka.”
May 17th, 2008 at 6:59 am
You hit the nail on the head.